Emotional Monsters

Surrealist paintings dealing with the difference between our inner, emotional lives and our formal, external selves.

“Esophageamania” 2023 was selected for the Royal Academy Summer Show and bought by collectors in Virginia, USA.

In March 2024 I nearly went blind.

Apparently, our eyeballs self-combusting as we age is a thing?  I did not know that. 

It all started when a black cobweb appeared in my vision while on holiday like someone had dropped ink into a jar of water, except this was my eyeball.  A visit to the ophthalmologist in Bulgaria confirmed I’d had a haemorrhage but it didn’t look serious and would clear up after a few weeks.  10 days after the initial heamorrhage I put my head between my toes in a yoga class and when I stood up, the lower portion of my vision had become a blank void.  There was nothing there.  As though someone had wrapped plastic tape over my face, I could peek over the top but couldn’t see my hands unless I raised them above my nose.

I’ve often sat in my studio and considered how lucky I feel to be able to see.  To really see.  As artists, we use that sense so acutely and I’m sure it become stronger, more intense, and the thought of losing my vision would be beyond devastating.  Imagine a runner losing their legs, or a singer losing their voice - of all the disabilities to have, going blind for me, would be catastrophic.

A trip to A&E confirmed I needed emergency surgery to save my sight. I was awake, chatting to the surgeon as he dismantled half my face and found 5 retinal tears in my eyeball.  The recovery has been painful and at times depressing as questions remained over how much of my vision would return.  I couldn't drive or do much painting - although I kept trying!

6 weeks down the line, I’m glad to say I am just about on the mend now and much of my vision has been restored.  I will probably need more surgery and there’s a chance my other eye will go at some point.  In the meantime, I’m grateful to the NHS, grateful to the vision I do have, and this week was the first time I made it back to the studio since the beginning of February.

Thinking in term of paintings that envelop the viewer, through film, sculpture and installation combined with the traditional field of painting.